Hell hath no fury like a Nyeri woman scorned

A joke doing the rounds now is that there is an offer running where the conditions are “Marry one Nyeri woman and be entered into a draw where you stand a chance to win an AK – 47 rifle.”

Photo : As shared on Facebook

If the recent goings-on are anything to go by then it is indeed safe to say that hell hath no fury like a Nyeri woman scorned!

The photo on the front page of that Saturday Nation last Saturday had most men and human rights activists rattled. As for the women, they shook their heads in silence but the ones who spoke about it wondered why the woman did not just pack up and leave if she was that embittered. Others wondered why it made the headlines , when if it had been a woman on the receiving end, it would be “other news.”

Whether the woman or the man is the victim , domestic violence is sad and pitiful with the most affected always being the children.

“When you fight with each other in front of your children, it changes who they are.” – Dr. Phil

Fighting does not have to be physical. Causing another emotional turmoil by insulting them , belittling or manipulating them also amounts to violence.

But perhaps the reason battered men’s stories make headlines is that when there is trouble in a relationship, society expects women to be the ones holding it together, struggling to make ends meet, hiding their pain and burying themselves in the Women’s Guild while the men, “drown their frustrations” in alcohol.

 

8 comments for “Hell hath no fury like a Nyeri woman scorned

  1. February 15, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    When a dog bites man, thats not news. When a man bites a dog, thats HUGE news. Those are the basics of journalism. The first sentence a lecturer states in the journalism 101 class. Women being beaten by their hubby’s is stale news. Its the norm. Heck, it’s not even newsworthy (sadly). And why does it matter anyway? But a man being bashed by his wife and the cameras and recorders will roll like water off a waterfall. That’s our media. And media is a reflection of our society.

    • February 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm

      Well said Maryanne!

  2. February 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

    Your last paragraph says it all. Women “hiding their pain”. Pent-up anger and frustration can be a dangerous thing because when it boils over it’s hard to control. It’s an unhealthy situation and I think couples should learn to seek help to resolve differences. The cases that end up in the news are the etxreme  ones. But there must be many couples yelling or fighting each other, sometimes in front of the kids. IMO, this one does not fall under the “life is not fair” categories, no one deserves to be abused. If they are, hopefully they will be empowered to get out of it and find happiness. 

  3. February 17, 2012 at 9:35 am

    It’s a sad tale indeed! But i hate it when a few incidents are used to judge the rest. If I was in a relationship with a Nyeri wench at the moment, I would marry her pap! and not care about the stereotypes.
    I enjoy your thoughts in this your blog.

  4. February 17, 2012 at 10:07 am

    Christine, it is good that people are discussing this but I have been rather disappointed that most comments I have seen are more about making fun of the women from Nyeri and the whole situation generally. There has been no discussions of what is really generating this problem and the social adjustments that are taking place especially in central kenya. Last year I had the opportunity to discuss some of these issues with some people from Nyeri and Murang’a and it was obvious to me (with the benefit of a sociology background/training) that the society there is slowly becoming dysfunctional. Men are becoming dis-empowered and seeking refuge in alcohol and there is a gap in the traditional roles that they played. Women are having to shoulder the burdens of the family as well as take care of increasingly unproductive and drunk men. There are no role models in the homes for young men. Sad situation 

    • Sue
      February 23, 2012 at 1:18 am

      I agree with you on that. There needs to be a discussion in the society on the roles of men and women in families today. Some of the social adjustments happening include the empowerment of women. For years, it has been take care of the girl-child, educate her etc. These girls are now women who are employed or running their own businesses and raising families at the same time. Men are definitely feeling the pressure from all the competition in jobs and in business. In our culture, the man is supposed to king of his castle but alot of them don’t feel that way. It does not help also that alcohol is freely available and is seen as a stress reliever. I think the women getting violent is retaliation because they are frustrated. If a marriage has problems, women are told to hang in there and work it out, sometimes irrespective of whether the man is making an effort. One can only imagine what the children in this families are learning from all this. People can make jokes but this here is a sad situation. 

  5. February 29, 2012 at 10:22 am

    I’m involved in putting together a media discussion around this issue scheduled for next week, and I’m looking for any literature or published report on the Nyeri male-battering issue. Or any research that has been done with regard to male domestic violence. Anyone with any info? @OtienoHongo your insights following your discussion with people from Nyeri and Muranga, as well as your professional background will be very helpful. Kindly share. PS: You’re invited to this discussion by the way.

    • March 6, 2012 at 6:24 pm

      Mummy Tales, was too busy to come by here last week, unfortunately I don’t have a documented report as such. Was actually discussing leadership issues as will soon be producing a talk show on leadership and will visit Nyeri and Muranga…the issue of disempowerment of young people naturally came up…would be glad to help out in the discussions if not too late… 

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