Right Or Justifiable?

The world is becoming more and more tolerant. These days, if you can justify yourself then you are on the right. You just have to listen to the radio or watch news. Dishonest politicians have a field day narrating to us how they had to do what they did for our sake and adulterous spouses seek to validate their actions by inviting us to listen to their (side of the) story of  how neglected they are by their spouses hence their actions.

If God would have wanted us to live in a permissive society He would have given us Ten Suggestions and not Ten Commandments. – Zig Ziglar

Last week I was invited to comment on this article where this girl, who describes herself as bisexual goes on and on about how she is having the time of her life getting the best of both worlds! She summarizes it with one statement : that is who I am.

Now, I get irked when I hear people saying  in terms of being gay : “This is who I am” . “This is who I have decided to be.” would be more tolerable. Researchers tell us that there is no gay gene ; no one was born gay – they are socialized to be gay. It is not in my place to judge, but when I see people sugarcoating bad as good, I point it out and say that, I do not approve. Thankfully, everyone has their life to live and not everyone has to agree with me.

Maybe I am biased because I am a christian. I subscribe to the idea that God in His wisdom, created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Growing up, like every child, I was taught what is right and what is wrong. As a grown up, I now know that people who feel that they are doing wrong, more often than not look for ways to justify themselves. Sometimes, they succeed at lying to themselves that what they are doing is right.

I don’t hate gay people. Far from it. What I would hate is someone trying to confuse my daughters by telling them that there are some people who are born gay or that it is OK to follow the crazy desires of your flesh regardless of whether it is wrong or right. I would resent too, for gay people to try to package themselves as a ‘special’ group of people that need special attention or ‘victims’ that have special needs because they are gay. This, in my opinion is what brings about problems. See, most people feel that, all that attention should be focused on solving other social problems that affect the society. We for example appreciate that homosexuals are more prone to contracting HIV, but instead of using resources to educate them how they can use K-Jelly(what’s it called?), some people would feel that, the same resources would be spent doing something else like combating FGM.

As I said in the begining, we have become a tolerant society. As long as you can justify yourself, you are right. And the world rallies behind you showering you with praise for ‘being courageous’and ‘not making apologies’.

So the  wrong –> justifiable –> right game continues…I am convinced that if we live long enough, we will see groups of murderers forming associations and wanting to be recognized by the government.

14 comments for “Right Or Justifiable?

  1. December 11, 2010 at 1:39 am

    “I would resent too, for gay people to try to package themselves as a ‘special’ group of people that need special attention or ‘victims’ that have special needs because they are gay. This, in my opinion is what brings about problems””
    Exactly my comment on that article you are talking about..people need to stop sugarcoating stuff and tell it like it is. I think we are too afraid that we end up pretending. I do not hate them as well, ..I just think that they feel like being Gay makes them special….thats what really puts me off about the whole issue…

  2. ItsMe
    December 11, 2010 at 9:14 am

    I agree with you… 100%! The question though, I believe should now be… Just how much more tolerant can we get? How flexible can we be?? With everyone demanding special attention and everyone demanding to be treated “different” and screaming “ITS MY RIGHT!”,how much backwards are we as a society going to bend over backwards, just to accommodate “Special interests?”

  3. December 11, 2010 at 10:48 am

    as you have stated “Thankfully, everyone has their life to live and not everyone has to agree with me.” The same should go for gay people, let them be who they are? Why should it concern us what they do behind closed doors as long as it does not infringe on others whatever? Yes, there are those who want to stand out as special but I think the wider gay community just want to be left alone without being singled out for discrimination. I have no problem with that…

    • December 12, 2010 at 10:02 am

      I, as many others are ready to leave gay people alone. We do! But when I switch on my televison let me not find some ‘gay activist’ speaking about ‘gay rights’. What are those? Do we even have ‘straight rights’??

      • S
        January 14, 2011 at 6:31 am

        I found your blog through Bikozulu’s site. Gay people do have rights. Even though we many not agree with their lifestyle, it’s wrong for them to be subjected to harrassment or abuse whether verbal or physical. They should not have to live in fear of imprisonment, being beaten or killed. Ostracising them leads to depression and suicide especially among teens. As a parent think put yourself in the position of someone who loses their child this way. We can debate about why homosexuality is there, is it something in the genes or is it learned. On the scientific angle read some of the opinions in the Scientific American. At this point you may wonder about my religious persuasion; I’m also a Christian who is also exasperated by all the activism and who acknowledges that I don’t have all the answers. I think the best thing for us is to teach children what we believe to be right but to let them know that there are other opposing views in the world as they grow. Most importantly, we should teach tolerance so that they do not end up being the persecuters of others. For as the Bible says, do not judge, lest you also be judged. I like your blog, so keep writing.

  4. PKW
    December 11, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    So am going to blog here:
    I somewhat disagree with you. Somewhat because I have been socialised to be totally unaccepting of gay people just like you.Because am a Christian-though honestly I don’t believe in the Adam and Eve story!
    When I think about it, I have no problem with homosexuals as long as they are doing no harm (like raping other homosexuals or straight people of the same sex-it happens!) or trying to bring their values to me in a in-your-face kind of way like they are some sort of victims that need my sympathy. As long as what they are ‘doing’ is consensual with whoever they are doing, and as long as a bi/homo woman does not want to do me….that’s their life, same way my sexual life is mine and I don’t go all over telling anyone that cares to know that I am straight (though interestingly, I blog as PKW).
    One thing you need to accept though is that things once considered wrong/evil in society change with time  and become acceptable. That too will (have to) come to pass for homesexuals in our country/continent. Think about it, you ‘found yourself holding your first-born’ around your 21st birthday? A while ago in some community, if that happened and you were unmarried, you’d be killed. Today? You can procure an abortion, raise the baby, give it up for adoption, or even get married haraka haraka. The very Old Testament/Bible you are quoting is very straightforward against things you do without even knowing you are sinning-like wearing clothes of mixed fabric, or covering your head when praying etc. But when it fits us, we argue that it’s all about the context…but that doesn’t apply to homosexuals. For now, you, I think, compare homosexuality to murder and infidelity. Murder is criminal, we the majority agree. If the majority of us at one point agree that murder is a right, trust me, it will be a right. In some societies, polygamy is illegal and infidelity is good ground for divorce pap! –and I wonder why all those men take it lying down 🙂 . But serial marriages are common and accepted. Traditionally in my society, divorce does not exist. And I believe it is so in majority of Kenyan communities-is why it takes years to finalise divorce in Christian or civil marriages, because people believe it’s bad (and better to live in a dead marriage).
    So relax, no one will need to confuse your daughters. Usipowafunza (labda wewe hata si mwalimu!), ulimwengu utawafunza. Unless you insist on home-schooling and working from home all their lives 🙂 . You might want to psychologically prepare for a generational gap in opinion.

    • December 12, 2010 at 9:07 am

      Wow! This has got to be the longest comment on my blog so far, which i appreciate. Let’s see if i can match it. 🙂

      Now, even as you agree with me somewhat, you raise a good point here : a ‘look who’s talking’ kind of point.

      I think if one chooses to do something the society is against, they should then face the consequences, whatever they are rather than demand to be given special treatment.

      As a campus mum, I faced all the consequences of my actions, both real and imagined!
      After campus I sweated it out (and still continue to) with my colleagues who didn’t /don’t necessarily have the same challenges as me. Try using the words “I NEED this job because I HAVE TO FEED MY KIDS” in a job interview. Doesn’t work. 🙂

      I never once acted as a victim or demand to be treated in a special way.

      What am saying is that gay people should go about their lives as everyone else without in your words ‘….trying to bring their values to me in a in-your-face kind of way.’

      If they are discriminated against (which am not for) , then that is part of what they have to deal with for making choices that the larger society seems to frown upon.

    • Mercy N.M
      December 12, 2010 at 2:16 pm

      Mrs Mwiti I love you and your articles.It was only last week I was in this situation.working in a Hos.can put you in odd situations at times.

      This guy came @Theatre arrivals in a hurry and disturbed requesting me 2 see his partner . In a moment,i forgot i was in a country whereby your ‘right’ is considered.I went on and asked”oh and what’s her name?” he looked @ me straight in my eyes and answered ”he’s Steve Armstrong” he didn’t know that was like an electric shock coz i pretended it was ok.But, seriously,is there any love b2in the so called partners?
      I was disturbed coz i had no one to share it with . I pat you on the back 4 bringing this issue MrsMwiti….

    • December 12, 2010 at 2:30 pm

      Hi PKW,
      You’ve spoken like one who had a moment of yoga before. It is in pure honesty that we have become a society that tries to fit things into our world and get people to accept them. We have a uni-colored point of view that changes with our various inclinations. When we seek to demonize gays and lesbians ( who I also don’t support) then in our very true self go on to allow for infidelity in the society, we tend to create a very double – standard generation. The Bible or Qur’an far in speaking has a firm stand against both, we Christians — that I am one — go on and choose what very well benefits our circumstances. In having double standards we create a generation — that we say is lost — that thinks it is fair play to have your cake and eat it. When a parent has a mpango wa kando, and is all over their children when they turn out to be of abnormal sexuality — I stand corrected for saying it is abnormal — or are the next wanugus‘ citing “spare the rod spoil the child.”. If we make our stand about religion, let it cut across the board, if it is about culture let it follow suit. If you want to be gay, for all sake go on, if you want to be a thief go ahead, just do not tell us you are special — you are only special in that the consequences that follow are truly special — go ahead do your thing live your life. <b>Lets focus on what is important not the side-plays! </b>

  5. December 14, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Been on this interactive human rights camp over the weekend in lukenya, n u shud have seen how the gay community, and bi sexuals, and meterosexuals, and heterosexuals were defending their rights, with that same notion of ‘that is who i am’ some say that its biological, some say its the social seting. I’ll post an article on my bolg abt the camp, u shud take a look

  6. Karuu
    December 17, 2010 at 11:45 am

    First time to your blog and i must say am glad i visited. I got your address from Biko’s facebook wall. I have read all your entries like am sitting for an exam. I have no regrets either! Your way of writing is so easy and i was flowing from one paragraph to the next, wondering where i have been all these time…. Anyhow, i feel its never too late to discover your blog.

    • January 14, 2011 at 1:51 am

      @S , @Karuu welcome to my blog & thanks for the compliments! 🙂

      @All, It is good to bring out these issues so we can discuss them and see how we can co-exist. Thank You for your contributions.

  7. Eve
    August 9, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    I just lost all respect for you Mrs.Mwiti after reading this post.

    • August 9, 2011 at 5:05 pm

      @Eve, thanks for your comment.I respect that! 🙂 Reminds me of a quote I love tho : “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” – Winston Churchill

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