Lessons I Have Learnt Being Married

One of my best marriage quotes is , “In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.” – Robert Anderson. By the law of the land, hubby and I have been married for 3 years now. Today is our 3rd wedding anniversary.

I had been thinking about what to blog about on my anniversary so, last week I e-mailed a couple of my girlfriends who are married too and told them I am compiling a list of Lessons I have learnt being married. Could they chip in? Definitely, they said. But unfortunately one was unwell and didn’t manage to compile the list. Kubby, am so sorry girl.

The other, Kiende and I have been friends, since Facebook. 🙂 Kiende has been married for one and a half years, so you can say she’s still in the honeymoon phase of her marriage. But listening to her speak about marriage you will discover what deep seated wisdom she holds about marriage, this girl. “Let everyone else know your partner is the best, how your friends and relatives perceive your partner depends on how you present him/her to them.” , wrote Kiende. Among other gems of wisdom that i’m gonna share with you:

  • Love is vital for every marriage.


  • Challenges will always be there so deal with it!.
  • Keep your marital issues between yourselves as much as possible. This point cannot be over emphasized. This is the internet era. There is no need to call your mum to ask how to deal with your husband’s snoring problem or your wife’s ‘attitude issues’. Google! Google! Google! You have no business talking to third parties about your marriage problems unless they have a degree in psychology and are living in marital bliss themselves.
  • Always argue out the issue not each other. – Indeed! When you argue deal with the issue at hand. Not the person. Address the issue and it’s consequences. Don’t call each other names. Remember you will still be married to them even after this fight is over.
  • You can avoid quarreling in marriage; instead argue.
  • At times you need to compromise for the sake of peace.
  • Above all have a forgiving heart daily and learn to forget. – This takes God!
  • Have no secrets between yourselves – Nothing eats on intimacy than keeping secrets from each other.
  • Making your partner your best friend is a bonus in marriage.
“….I know most of the above are common but have tested them and they are working!” Said she as she signed out. I said that’s exactly what I was looking for – marriage tips that have been tested and proven to actually work! I thanked her and wished her blessings in her marriage, then I got down to seeing if there was anything more left for me to say. She had pretty much said it all. I only managed these :
  • Don’t mention the D-word – Unless you are actually going to follow through with it, don’t mention divorce. Do not use the D-word to threaten your spouse for example when you are having an argument.
  • Marriage was God’s idea. There is no way you are getting very far without consulting Him,often.
  • You and your spouse are IN THE SAME TEAM. – The sooner you realize that, the better.
  • There is power in what you listen to, read, or see because these things shape your thoughts. Read good books, listen to pro-marriage stuff, watch good movies with your spouse. Tyler Perry has a GIFT when it comes to coming up with such movies. Other movies I’d like to mention are Not Easily Broken, The story Of Us. Fireproof and the Series Army Wives.
  • Make a decision to be committed to and fight for your relationship.  – Your union, that covenant you made, is greater than you.
And finally? Men don’t listen, especially, when they are hungry. 🙂
What have you learnt being married or about marriage? Do share!


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