“I have always told Will , he can do WHATEVER he wants , as long as he , can look at himself in the mirror , and be OK.” This statement by Jada Pinkett Smith , when she was asked if theirs with Will smith is an open marriage , has raised quite a number of eyebrows – mine included!

“Because at the end of the day”, she continued “Will is his own man. I’m here as his partner, but he is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be and that’s not for me to do for him. Or vice versa.”

This bold declaration recently sent me on a Googling / Youtubing spree to find out more about this couple – one of the Hollywood success stories in terms of relationships (erm….perhaps it’s not too late to change my thesis topic??)

See , Will and Jada have been married for 15 years , which is like 115 years in Hollywood. And when you have been married for 15 years in Hollywood , people want to know if you have an arrangement where you “see” other people.

Open

What exactly is an open marriage? Urban dictionary carries this colorful definition : “A total oxymoron and falacy. When a married couple, due to their sexual deviancy, agrees to have multiple sex partners, i.e. a married couple agrees to cheat on each other.”

Urban Dictionary continues…

“….which is totally stupid and oxymoronic because the word marriage suggests monogamy and commitment. That’s WHY a couple gets married. “

Example in a sentence: I don’t feel as though ANY marriage can survive as an open marriage.

Love birds and best of friends

Other than the Smith family -the couple and their 3 celebrity children – being (seemingly) a very close knit one , Will and Jada are truly in love and flirt with each other like they just started dating.

In one talk-show in which Jada is the guest she comes wearing some short shorts which has the host quip, “You forgot your pants?!”

“You know , my husband is backstage. He’s holding ‘em for me. *laughter*

She has referred to Will as her best friend….her boo. “What would I do without him?”, she once wondered in an interview , responding to rumors that they were getting a divorce.

As for Will , in his own words : “I don’t let a day go past that Jada doesn’t feel like the Queen of the World.”

In an interview with Piers Morgan , Jada reveals that “Will and I have sex in the most interesting places” emphasizing the role of spontaneity in keeping their relationship fresh. Asked what keeps them going , she says and reiterates: friendship.

Grown not Open

So , what did Jada mean exactly? Was that a confirmation that indeed theirs is an open marriage? She responded via her Facebook page :

“Let me first say this, there are far more important things to talk about in regards to what is happening in the world than whether I have an open marriage or not……The statement I made in regard to, ‘Will can do whatever he wants,’ has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist…….Should we be married to individuals who cannot be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we cannot entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE…for us???……..Here is how I will change my statement…Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.”

Go figure.