A long time ago when e-mail forwards were funny, we had no Facebook. So we relied on endless forwards to keep us entertained and just about share information. Enter Facebook, and all of a sudden it was the greatest thing on the internet since most people had not yet heard of graduates.com or Myspace.
Three years ago I opened my Facebook account. Like Twitter, It seemed so lifeless at first. I remember telling hubby, “Facebook is overrated. Nothing much..just lots of strangers asking you to be their friend.” And so for months my Facebook was dormant. Until one day.
One day, I got a friend request from a high school classmate of mine, Kingwa Kamenchu. I remember feeling so excited. OMG! Finally someone I KNOW. Now, the last time I saw Kingwa we were classmates in High school. Now she’s all grown up and she became a writer. If you are a fan of short stories then you might know her. She used to write short stories in Nation sometimes (UPDATE : The same Kingwa who would later attempt to vie for Kenya presidency in 2012) . So after that one friend request, I went on a searching spree, trying to catch up with my friends and former school mates. And that is how my Facebook gained life. Facebook for me then, was a way to catch up with people from my past.
Since then I threw myself onto Facebook like I was getting paid and I must admit, at some point I was hooked. Facebook was like a drug and I could not go a day without some. I remember influencing so many people to join Facebook. Over time more and more people joined, friend and foe, acquaintances and bosses. Now even my house help has a Facebook account. OK am exaggerating.
I don’t facebook much these days, but I don’t hate Facebook. Being the no.1 social media website Facebook is genius. It changed the way people communicate with each other. It makes people equal and it has afforded us a new way us to stalk our creditors and exes. So, next time someone asks you (do they still ask?) “Are you on Facebook?”, here is what to consider. From a self confessed ex-Facebook addict, you are NOT/have NOT been on Facebook if..
- You have not felt the sheer joy of connecting with people you would probably never have met again.
- You haven’t had the heartbreak of learning, via Facebook that your classmate/teacher or best friend’s mother passed on.
- You haven’t read/seen something on FB that made you laugh like an idiot hours later.
- You haven’t started a group..or a fan page, or both and invited people to join! – What do you mean you haven’t even joined a group, or fifty!
- You haven’t looked up your teenage crush – See how potbellied they are now? How did you EVER think they were cute? Or maybe they haven’t even joined FB, Surely they must have heard of FB or what did they end up studying? Anthropology? 😀
- You haven’t posted pictures , and then some.
- You haven’t searched for your favorite Hollywood star or a person you admire and ‘liked’ them.
- You haven’t stalked your partner’s ex.
- You haven’t been stalked.
- You haven’t become friends with a complete stranger.
- You haven’t shared a quote.
- You haven’t changed your Facebook name or don’t know how to .
- You don’t know that the maximum number of Facebook friends one can have is 5000 or that you can like a maximum of 500 fan pages.
- You don’t know that you can not tag more than 30 people in a photo.
- You haven’t joined a group called The Most Useless Group on Facebook